God ALWAYS Provides

I believe in the power of prayer and a positive attitude.  For those who have seen me over the last 6 weeks I think you can attest to this.  Trust me, I have yelled and screamed and cried . . . . and cried some more; but I try every single day to wake up, say a prayer to the Lord and give myself a pep talk about staying positive.  My prayer is typically something simple like "dear Lord, You are awesome in Your power.  Please help me today to see the bright side, have a smile, and a good attitude.  Please give me strength and comfort and security.  In your name I pray, Amen." 

Nothing special.  But I do believe God hears me.  I believe God has his arms wrapped around me.  But, I also believe that God has sent an army of people to remind me of these things daily.  I believe if you pray and ask that the Lord will provide, He will.  Remember when your mom would tell you, if you don't ask you will never know the answer.  I think that's how God works, too. 

We have been flooded with generosity and love and more generosity.  Sam and I often sit in pure awe of what YOU have given us.  From flowers, to phone calls, to cards and then to the meals (oh, the homemade bread, YUM), to the offer of cleaning and daycare, and then to the financial support.  Wow.  Just plain, WOW. 

We have so many earthly angels, it's frankly just incredible.  A woman from the church, Katie, and the interim children's pastor at the church, Debbie, have gotten together to force help us decide what help we will need.  It's so hard accepting this help.  Sam and I both know we will need help, but normally we are on the other end.  Sending money when we can, or a meal, or just offering a hand.  It's so hard to sit on the receiving end and understand that people want to do the same for you.  In walks my angels Katie and Debbie.  Oh Katie, I just want to jump you and give you the biggest hug (ok, that seriously might scare her away since we have only met a couple times).  Her energy is just infectious and her love for the Lord is inspiring.  Then there is my angel Debbie, she is organized to the T and is ready to delegate where needed.  And she shares a birthday with Camden. 

Both women have sat in prayer with us and held us when we cried.  Katie and Debbie have set up a care calendar to delegate meals,  cleaning, and Camden care.  It's pretty incredible.  If anyone is interested in the link, please text me.  I can't believe I'm going to let down my guard and let someone clean my house and help with laundry, but I know I'm not super women.  As much as I like people to believe I can do it all, I need rest and chemo is going to knock me down. 

Katie is apart of a few local groups including MOPS and Team Jill.  The ladies from MOPS are signing up and going to help and we haven't even met these ladies! Team Jill is an established Susan G. Komen 3-day team.  They are even going to include me on their t-shirts this year as someone whom they are walking in honor of.  It truly is an honor.  Katie knows how to network and get people up and helping. 

My angels Melissa and Jill.  My best friends.  My confidants.  My wine drinking friends.  True story, they both came over to help me organize baby clothes in bins.  They got to my front door at the same time each holding a bottle of red wine.  These girls know the way to my heart.  Melissa has set up Team Nicole to walk/run the Race for the Cure on Mother's Day.  It's going to be so much fun!!  Jill, well Jill is just an angel.  She is a snowblown path through the yard away.  She has cried with me, cussed with me, laughed with me and most importantly drank wine with me.  You girls lead my army, I love you.

Then there is my angel Jess.  She is my breast cancer and breast surgery guru.  Also she just had her baby yesterday!  Happy birthday Abram Mason!!  She also likes to keep secrets.  She, behind my back, organized an online fund raiser.  Like I mentioned before we met online through a newlywed website.  These girls, my nestie besties, are some truly amazing woman.  Most I have never met face to face, but I consider them to be friends.  These girls come together and get things done that need to be done from a distance.  Between Sam and Jess they put together a fundraiser. 

Holy crap people.  You are amazing.  God again has answered our prayers.  Just to give you an idea--one subcutaneous injection I will receive after each chemo dose is $6,000-10,000.  Yes, we have insurance, but medical bills are going to come and I'm not working right now.  I can't begin to express what your hard earned donations mean to me and my little family.  I literally am writing in tears because I just can't explain what each dollar means to us.  We are so blessed.  From people I grew up with to people my parents grew up with to family.  Each of you, thank you. 

If you have ever doubted the power of prayer, don't.  Stop and pray.  Truly open your heart to the Lord and He will provide.