The Days Since Chemo

There really hasn't been much to update since my first treatment, sorry to my fellow followers.  The first treatment . . . well, hmm, to put this without swear words . . . was not fun.  I was already nauseated on my way home from treatment and the next day was worse.  The mornings seem to be the best, but then it just gets worse as the day goes on. 

Saturday and Sunday were the worst days and by Monday the nausea was subsiding, but starting on Sunday I had a splitting headache that would not go away.  I tried to stay on top of pain medicines and antinausea medicines, but nothing really made it better.  Watching TV commericals with food is nearly impossible and watching the Food Network is out of the question. 

Frankly, I'm too stubborn so I didn't call the doctor.  I didn't want to be considered a baby that just couldn't handle it.  I deal with patients like that on a daily basis and I didn't want to be one of them.  I'm 29 years old, I'm tougher than that. 

Finally on Wednesday I began to feel a little bit better.  Other than being very dizzy, the nausea was mostly gone and my headache was at least managable.  I was still really tired and the simplest of tasks made me exhausted.  Taking a shower required a two hour nap afterward just to recover. 

My appetite hasn't been the same.  Mexican food is a no go (umm, seriously I wonder why), so I have lived off of chicken nuggets and tots because they are bland and I know they will sit well.  I'm lucky to get about one good meal a day because I don't have an appetite. I typically love food, and I love Mexican food.  Some will be shocked to know that the thought of Chipotle makes me want to puke. 

Each day has gotten better and that is what is important.  I'm finally starting to feel normal; just time time for them to push poison through my veins again. 

I did finally talk to the Dr. T's nurse Amanda.  We went over my side effects.  Well, my stubborn-ness did not pay off.  Apparently, I should not have felt this horribly.  I had more severe and more side effects by number than I should have and I should have called the doctor.  They are rearranging my medicines for the next dose so hopefully I will feel a little more normal. 

Dose two is tomorrow.  I don't want to go because I don't want to feel like this again.  But, I will get in the car tomorrow morning to start another battle.  My hair has stayed stable through the last couple weeks; until yesterday.  I finally blow dried my hair and flat ironed it.  After I was done there was a big chunk of hair in my brush.  I cried.  I just feel like cancer has stripped me of so much, why my hair, too?  But my wig, Juliet (named by my sister), is waiting on the wig stand for when I need her. 

Thank you for the continued prayers, cards, and kind words.  You people are amazing and without you I wouldn't be constantly reminded why I fight.  I don't know if in my lifetime I will ever be able to fully express my gratitude to you.  But, please, know that when I say thank you that is the best words I have for the generosity and support.