MRI--Claustrophobia's Worst Nightmare

As part of the additional screening to see what the cancer is doing, Dr. DJ ordered a breast MRI.  She would be looking at both breasts to make sure there was no sign of additional cancer and no cancer on the left side.  This would also give her a better picture of where exactly the tumor was sitting or touching.

Cue my overwhelming fear of small spaces.  I have had an MRI before in high school for my shoulder.  Even on Valium I proceeded to pound on the inside of the tube and yell, "GET ME OUT OF HERE!!!"  Klassy, Nicole, real Klassy (yep with a K). 

Megan my awesome CCC scheduled everything for me and she told me if I ever needed anything to call.  Since I do a very similar job to hers I didn't want to be "that patient", but I couldn't help myself.  I called Megan and left her a very awkwardly insane sane message. 

"Hi Megan, it's Nicole.  So, I was thinking of this MRI you are having me do.  About that, I'm really claustrophobic so I was wondering if you could maybe prescribed me something for my anxiety.  Or better yet, I know MRIs are for soft tissue, which is what my breasts are made of, but do you think Dr. DJ could get the same information from a CT scan since the tube is bigger.  Or could you ask Dr. DJ if this is *really* necessary?  Let me know what you think."

Yep completely sane. 

Megan called me back and assured me that this was the best diagnostic tool for me and I would be ok.  She would prescribed me Valium in case I needed it and it was waiting for me right outside the door of where we met with genetics. 

On my way to work I text my PA L to remind her I would be late.  I also told her if she heard any screaming coming from the imaging center that it was me and to please come save me.  No joke, again completely sane. 

I showed up to my appointment nervous as all heck.  I was texting one of my nestie besties (from thenest.com my group of ladies).  She is amazing.  We have been through getting pregnant and child birth and breastfeeding together.  We met roughly about a year ago and have been texting way too much since then.  Any way . . .  I was texting her about how nervous I was when my stupidity hit me.  I gave birth to a child, naturally . . . by choice.  I got this.  I can get into this stupid MRI tube and make it through this.  

Right then the tech came and got me.  We went through everything together and I signed my life away.  With my Valium in my purse I convinced myself I could get through this.   I walked into the exam room and didn't look at the tube.  The tech started my IV for contrast (so those cancer cells would show up better) and got me positioned. 

 (Image from Google Images)

This is kind of what things looked like.  I entered the machine head first.  Once my head was in the massage table head holder (technical term) I closed my eyes and used my natural child birthing techniques while listening to the Dave Ryan in the Morning Show.  Before I knew it, I was pulled out of the machine. 

I did it, without Valium.  With this mindset I felt like I could get through anything.